Origins
Learn more about the Enlightened Brethren Of The Sacred Wisdom
Doctrine Of The Brethren
There are limitless alternate dimensions of this world and others. In each of these dimensions, many of us have died in one way or another. Only the one true people of the Brethren remain alive in each of the alternate dimensions – only they shall be saved from the final judgement.
Only the Supreme Being, as seer of each dimension foresaw the impending destruction – millions of years of wickedness carried out by the negative oppositionals in each of the never ending portals to alternate being, had brought a great strain to our fair and pleasant land, a strain that would eventually cause a great reckoning to befall our planet.
The Great Supreme Being, in his infinite wisdom, decided to rescue his children in the end times. He would gather them, educate them in His ways and when that awful day came, evacuate them in multi-dimensional spacecrafts that would take them to the promised lands, where all each of his people would meet all of their alternate selves, who would be absorbed into One True Self.
The Supreme Being tried his best throughout the ages to alert them to this fate: he tried to prepare for the disaster by having a bunch of druids built a landing pad for the ship at Stonehenge, but the site was misunderstood by the people who used it as a meeting place for hippies. He tried to inform his people that spacecrafts were going to rescue them by having great crop circles hewn into the land, but the people, initially thinking it was a message from extraterrestrial beings, soon concluded it was merely the work of drunken students. Never thinking of who made the drunken students cut these patterns into the land in the first place. He tried to warn them through various extraterrestrial allies, who visited the earth in order to spread the word, only to be greeted with fear, killed and dissected in Roswell, and the subject of many low budget B movies. The people who did get abducted, failed to pass on the word to the rest, obsessing instead on the customary anal probe. He, still to this day, tries to contact us in subtle ways – who else leaves those unexplained single socks found in our streets and parks?
He even tried to contacting his people through bestowing great talents on a few individuals in exchange for spreading this message of doom, giving one the ability to bend spoons, another the gift of the ability of surviving being encased in ice and standing on a column for three days, and another the gift of invulnerability, whether it be withstanding copious amounts of drugs or injury from a coconut tree. But each of these individuals were tainted by the negative oppositionals, who urged them to exploit their new found talents.
But then he came across the Oracle; a humble, uneducated, yet charismatic man, who didn’t have anything better to do, so agreed to act as His orator.
The History of the Enlightened Brethren of the Sacred Wisdom
Although the Brethren as we know ourselves have only been together a few short years, the knowledge and wisdom of the Supreme Being has been around in one dimension or another since the dawn of time. So strong was his message, even before life emerged, particles of dust praised him, but as they didn’t have mouths or wallets, his message went unfulfilled.
Then came the dinosaurs, who he tried to warn of the original judgement day. But they were too stupid to understand his wise words and perished. Besides, they wouldn’t have been able to fit in the spacecraft anyhow, so it was a bit of a fruitless endeavor.
Then came the Neanderthals – who do you think inspired the recently discovered cave paintings depicting a denim clad clown on a bicycle with a cross through it. But although their fervour for the Supreme Being was great, their income wasn’t.
Many centuries passed through the ages, from the Romans to the Middle Ages to the present day, the Supreme Being continued his path, spreading the word of the Brethren, to unwilling ears. Many people believed anyone who spoke his words was mad or diseased and, as a result, shunned by the community, so people generally kept to themselves if they heard him. It was only a few years ago he happened across the Oracle, a great man who had a great lot of time on his hands, time to hear the Supreme Beings orations.
History of the Oracle
When our dearly beloved Oracle of the Brethren first encountered the one true way of the divine Supreme Being, although he tried his hardest to spread His joyous news, the doubting Negative Oppositionals suppressed his urgent message by having him sectioned.
Many moons our dear Oracle remained incarcerated, believed to be insane and delusional because he dared to speak the truth – that the Supreme Being spoke through his pet dog, that he could communicate with the dead through a porthole into another dimension, and that he once kick boxed a leopard. But through his intense suffering, he was learning about our universe from our wise master, who induced our dear Oracle into a trance like state that the Negative Oppositional nurses took to be a side effect of the medication.
But the real truth was that he was being indoctrinated as the great orator of the Supreme Being. He travelled through alternate dimensions, visited ancient civilizations in his mind, learned to speak all the languages of the galaxy, telekinesis, telepathy with plants, and teleportation (which is how he managed to escape his imprisonment), and not just set free because they were running out of beds, as the Negative Oppositionals would lead us to believe.
Once our dear one was liberated from the torment of the NO’s it was not long before his magnanimous charisma attracted his dear brethren.